


I'm sorry.

by soriksorik



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 (TV) RPF, The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 19:12:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17883644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soriksorik/pseuds/soriksorik
Summary: Raven finally apologizes for almost handing Murphy off to the Grounders to save Finn.





	I'm sorry.

Guilt. Guilt was what followed Raven around for years, concerning a lot of different things, but most importantly him.

Ever since Murphy had locked himself away in his room, blocking out the outside world, Raven had pondered their relationship a lot more, wondering if perhaps the fact that she had never really apologized to him about all of the shit she had put him through had played a part in him locking himself away after Emori tore his heart out, figuratively speaking, and threw it back in his face.

Raven had wondered that if he had felt a little more welcomed by the rest of the team, maybe he would not have hidden away in the darkest corner of the ship. Maybe if everyone wasn’t so hard on him and didn’t treat him like dirt through the years, especially Raven, he would be with her right now, in the lab, cracking his stupid jokes that despite their idiocy, always made her smile.

Murphy had apologized to her about all the fucked up shit he had done, time and time again, and she remembered the look of relief on his face when she had finally forgiven him. It was burned into her memory, that little half-smile etched into her mind.

Another one of his looks was burned into her mind too. The one he had given her when he realized why she had invited him to the dropship when Finn was being hunted by the Grounders. She had been willing to let him die, even if she had no right to decide whether he died or not. She was willing to hand him over and get him killed, in the worst of ways, just to save Finn. It hadn’t been fair and although she had not seen it like that at the moment, mind clouded by hatred, she realized her mistake now and she regretted it deeply.

That was why she was standing by the door to his room, taking a few deep breaths, attempting to calm her racing mind as possibilities of what would happen played themselves out on her brain.

He could just ignore her, open the door and shut it in her face, he could send her away or he could actually let her in. Raven was really hoping it would be the last option. She needed to get this off her chest, even if he did not want to hear it.

She had waited a few moments after knocking, hearing the shuffling sound behind the door and the groan that indicates that he was alive.

“I think we had agreed that I will be left alone,” he bellowed, pulling the door open. For a moment, he looked angry, but then that expression was replaced by surprise when he saw her standing in the doorway, “Raven?”

She had nodded, without really thinking the action through, “can I come in?”

He looked hesitant for a moment, looking behind her, down the corridor, before he pulled the door open a bit more, stepping aside and showing her that she could come in.

Raven stepped inside, looking around her. The room was a mess of opened wrappers, tossed aside water bottles, books, and an unmade bed. So Murphy of him, not like she knew what being Murphy was, but she imagined it was this. His life was a mess if you asked Bellamy, and his room definitely reflected that.

Tilting her head, Raven slowly scanned her surroundings, stalling.

“Look,” he muttered and she could see him putting his hands in his pockets without having to look at him, “if you are here to convince me to get back out there, you are wasting your time. I’m quite—”

“I’m sorry.”

The words fell from her mouth before she could really consider them. Even if she had been here to apologize, she hadn’t meant for it to go like this. She had wanted to start with an explanation, to build up to her apology but when he had started talking, her mind took over and she just said it.

There was silence following her words, an expected silence and when Raven finally turned to look at John he looked like she had slapped him.

“Raven…”

“I’m sorry for the way I have treated you since our first meeting. I’m sorry for being a bitch. I am sorry for endangering your life time and time again and I’m sorry for the incident at the dropship.”

He was looking at her, completely dumbfounded, confused and overall just attempting to process what she was saying, but it was clear that his brain was malfunctioning. She could almost see the steam coming out of his ears as he tried to understand everything. It was comical, almost.

“Raven, you—”

She continued, rambling, “I was going to give you up to the Grounders to serve Finn’s sentence without any good reason but just the anger at you shooting me that hadn’t subsided at the moment. I was willing to let you die in the worst way just to save Finn who, as much as I hate admitting it, deserved the punishment, in a way. What sort of monster condemns someone to death by one thousand cuts without any good reason? I mean, you have every right to hate me. What right did I ha—”

He kissed her, stopping the nervous rambling. He kissed her and, for a moment, Raven froze on the spot, eyes wide open and unsure of what she should do but, just like that, instinct took over and she kissed him back. It wasn’t a rough press of lips, but it wasn’t exactly gentle. He wasn’t pushing her, but he wasn’t exactly asking for permission. His hands were cupping her face, angling her face how he wanted.

When he had felt her giving in to him, felt her eyelashes brushing his cheek as she let her eyelids flutter shut, he pulled her closer, desperate, needy. Her arms stayed limp at her sides, but her mouth parted with his, their lips molding together in perfect sync.

He pushed her back, staggering away from her and guilt painted his features. Raven blinked, and now she was sure that there was steam coming out of her own ears.

“I’m sorry,” he staggered, gaze not meeting hers, eyes running over the floor sporadically, “I shouldn’t ha—”

Raven was the one kissing him now, crashing her mouth on his. She wasn’t gentle and she most definitely wasn’t seeking permission. Her hands came up to cup his face and her teeth sunk into his bottom lip, pearly whites tugging it back teasingly before she let it go. It escaped the confines of her teeth with a loud pop. His arms wrapped around her waist, fingers sprawling out on the small of her back as he pressed her closer, chasing her mouth with his.

She gave in, pouring out all the bottled up emotions she had never even realized before, into the kiss. Raven was overwhelmed by how much her body, mind, heart, and soul ached for him, burning against the contact of his body against hers, but it wasn't enough. She wanted to be closer, wanted to feel his muscles tensing underneath her touch, wanted to map his scars into her memory utilizing her lips.

Murphy moved, before she realized what was happening, backing her up against the wall. He parted her legs, wedging his thigh into the space, pressing up painfully against her sex. Raven whined just as his hands shifted. First, he removed her hands from his face, pinning her wrists up with one of her hands before moving to utilize the other one to half-choke her and half-hold her jaw. It was hot, she couldn’t lie.

He parted his lips and she used the margin to slip her tongue into the space between their mouths, seeking entrance, dominance. He had a different idea. Responding to her, his own tongue moved forward, meeting hers in a challenging dance, trying to see who would take the win.

She won, or maybe he had let her, and her tongue explored the confines of his mouth, brushing up against his, almost teasing.

Murphy pulled back and Raven tilted forward, chasing his lips, but he had her in an iron grip. His mouth busied itself with her neck, nipping and sucking at the flesh, angling her face so that he could get more access to her neck. Raven allowed a moan to slip past her lips, attempting to wiggle her hands free of his grasp so that she could explore his body, but the grip was entirely too tight.

When John had reached her collarbone, he moved back up to press his lips to hers and now he let her hands go. Raven busied herself with his body immediately, slipping dainty hands under his shirt, fingers running up his back. He stepped back, dropping his hands from the vicinity of her body before he pulled his shirt off.

Raven’s hands came up so that she could trace the pads of her fingers against the pale flesh of his abdomen, muscles tensing at the touch. Stepping forward she took off her own shirt, dropping it to the ground before her lips latched onto his neck, kissing over the calloused flesh as she pushed him back, guiding him towards the bed.

Murphy sat down on the mattress, hands running down her front before he leaned in, dragging his tongue up her stomach, teeth sinking into the sensitive flesh. Raven gasped, fingers slipping through his hair, massaging the scalp as she went. His fingers worked on her brace and before she knew it, the familiar weight had lifted itself off her knee. The small clank of the metal as it fell to the ground was what startled Raven but she recovered quickly.

Resting both of her hands on the male’s chest, palms flat, she pushed him down on the bed, taking her rightful place in his lap. Her mouth moved up his body, teasing, slow, pressing open-mouthed kisses along the pale flesh and making sure to leave her marks in the most sensitive spots, bringing out the much-desired groans of pleasure. Murphy wasn’t shy about letting her know what he enjoyed, and she took great pleasure in hearing his responses to her ministrations, his hands guiding her face where he wanted it.

Their lips met once again, teeth grazing against teeth, tongues fighting for dominance. His hands slipped down her back, landing on her ass before he grasped both cheeks firmly. Raven smirked against his lips, her teeth sinking into his bottom lip and she bit down, hard. Murphy made a sound, something between pain and pleasure, tugging his lip out of her grasp with a small ‘bitch’ before he rolled them over, moving to hover over Raven.

For a moment, he just stayed there, unmoving before ducking his head. His lips collided with her collarbone and he traced over the flesh, moving lower, hand pushing back the fabric of her bra before his tongue swirled around her nipple. Raven gasped, tilting her head to the side. John’s gaze shifted from her breast to fix itself on her face as his hand moved to the other nipple, fingers pinching it softly. There was a whimper and Raven heard him chuckle, sucking on the nipple he had previously abused while his hand massaged the other.

She didn’t notice when his fingers had slipped behind her back, undoing her bra, but next thing she knew, it was laying on the ground, next to their shirts and his mouth was moving lower down her front, leaving bite marks everywhere on her abdomen before he reached the waistband of her jeans, halting for just a second.

Their eyes met and at that moment, Raven thought of Shaw and of what this would mean for them. She thought of Emori and how she would feel if she ever found out. She thought of what this could mean for them. She knew that the logical thing to do was to have had pushed him away when he had kissed her. To just turn around and walk away, pretending their conversation and that moment had never happened but… how could she when there was clearly something there that neither of them could deny?

Raven’s fingers found the button of her jeans and she popped it open, her fingers moving to work on the zipper but Murphy swatted her hand away, pulling the zipper down himself before he slowly eased her out of her jeans and underwear, his lips kissing over every inch of flesh he revealed.

When she was completely bare and open for him to marvel at, Raven watched a satisfied smile creeping to his lips and she was about to retort but her words were drowned out by the loud gasp of pleasure.

He took no time, going for the place that had needed him most, swirling his tongue in teasing circles around her entrance before he moved it up her fold, carefully prodding at her clit. Raven’s body responded by sending pangs of pleasured impulses up her body, coming to coat every neuron, making her mind hazy, lips parting in the softest gasps. His ministrations were relentless. His tongue slipped into her slick entrance, making her gasp at the invasion, but it wasn’t unwelcome. His thumb moved to stroke her clit as his tongue worked on her folds and her entrance, submerging his tongue in her heat.

Raven’s lips parted in soft gasps with each stroke, her body rocking into his touch but Murphy had decided that it wasn’t enough. She didn’t show much appreciation for his attempts so, he changed his tactic. Tipping his head up, his lips locked on her clit, sucking on the sensitive bundle of nerves, flicking it with his tongue. That brought out a much more reasonable reaction, but still, he wasn’t satisfied. He tilted his head up, releasing her clit from the grasp of his lips. Raven whined.

Murphy smirked, and animalistic smirk, before he brought his free hand up to her mouth, teasing her lips open with his middle finger. Raven parted her mouth, taking it in, swirling her tongue around it.

His lips hovered above her ear and the words left his lips in the lowest of whispers, meant only for her, “that’s a good girl.”

When he had been satisfied with her actions, he removed the finger from the confines of her mouth, pressing his lips against hers as he did. His hand traveled lower, running over her folds before he lined his finger up with her entrance. Raven whined against his mouth, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, hard. Murphy growled against her, pushing his finger into her slick heat.

Raven grasped onto him, gasping into his mouth. The sensation was welcomed, pleasing. He was moving his finger slowly, teasing, taking his time with her body. He sucked on her bottom lip, curling his finger against her most sensitive spot. The female moved against him, rocking her hips into his hand to try and get the most of him. She whimpered for attention, whimpered for more. She knew he could give her more and the only reason he wasn’t doing it was to get on her nerves.

Murphy moved then, leaning down to allow his mouth to meet the sensitive bundle of nerves again, taking it into his mouth, sucking on it as his finger curled inside her, slowly picking up his pace.

Now, this was what she wanted, what she needed and desired. Her lips parted in breathy moans, hips moving to meet the pace of his strokes and soon she shuddered as she went over the edge. She arched her back and Murphy held her hips down, his strokes relentless on her overly sensitive clit to ensure he got it all out of her, groaning at the sweet taste of her.

His hips moved, grinding against the bed to bring some ease to his growing arousal, desperate for some friction.

When Raven had come down from her high, her body no longer shuddering, her sounds mere whimpers against his actions, Murphy removed himself from her entrance, moving to busy his mouth with hers. She moaned into his mouth, tasting herself on his lips.

Raven pushed him off of her then, guiding him into a standing position as she sat up, her hands running down his sides before they found his belt buckle and she tilted her head, fingers working on the fastening while her gaze remained locked on his. Murphy’s brow hitched skywards but he didn’t protest, watching her as she pulled down his trousers.

Her fingers ran over his length, still covered by his underwear, but that one was an easy fix that she did not particularly want to give him the satisfaction of yet. She watched his fingers curl into fists as her hand teased over his cock, tugging at the offensive material of his underpants but not quite giving him the freedom they both desired.

Murphy, however, took matters into his own hands. Impatient, as always, he stepped out of his shoes and trousers before pushing his underwear down, too, and discarding it into the pile of their clothes that had formed itself on the floor.

Now, they were equally exposed to one another, both physically and emotionally.

Raven laughed before she just tilted her head and beckoned him closer. He complied.

Once he was close enough, Raven ducked her head, running her tongue over his shaft, over the vein before she came to circle the tip with her tongue, teasing the sensitive flesh. Her hand moved in careful stroked, stimulating the length while she worked on the head. Raven kissed and licked, dragging her teeth over the sensitive flesh, drawing out his groans, feeling his hands fist in her hair. She stalled, for a little longer before finally closing her lips around his tip.

He made a sound somewhere deep in his throat, but she didn’t quite register what it was. She was too busy planning her next move, planning on how to pay him back better. Lowering her head on his shaft, she took him in, before she tilted her head back again.

This just proved her theory; men were easier to please. Out of all the men she had been with, they had all come undone at her ministrations in mere moments, while it had taken them quite some time to get the results they desired out of her. Murphy, however, had done it in a lot less time then she had anticipated, or had wanted him to. Maybe it was the hormones that had built themselves up in both of them over their time on the ship, or maybe it was just his skill set. Raven had been moaning his name faster than anyone else’s in the history of her sex life.

However, John didn’t seem to be that difficult either. He was groaning loudly as she sucked on his balls, smoothing her hand over his length in the process, keeping in mind that she had to give all of his attention for the desired outcome, circling his tip with her thumb. John might be a little more experienced, but the experience did not seem to mean that he was more resistant. When she had moved to kiss over his shaft again, he had stopped her, pulling her face towards his.

His lips came down on hers and although he had forbidden her mouth contact, her hand was still there. She moved it up and down his length, stimulating, teasing. He groaned into her lips, pearly whites sinking into her bottom lip before he pulled back.

“That’s enough out of you,” he had said, removing her hands from the vicinity of his body. Raven whimpered when he denied her fun.

He pushed her down on the bed, his mouth trailing down her neck as he took himself into his hand, aligning his tip with her entrance. The female gasped as his lips moved lower, teeth sinking into her nipple again for a brief moment before he released it and rolled his hips into her, pushing his hard length into her slick core.

Murphy groaned as she wrapped around him, tilting his head towards her ear, “that’s a good girl.”

Murphy moved her good leg to wrap it around his waist, draping the other one around him too, but more freely so that she was comfortable with it. Raven’s hand found themselves slipping through his hair, down his neck, and over his back as she gasped with each roll of his hips, feeling the tension building up in the pit of her stomach. His thrusts quickly grew needy, desperate, and he picked up his pace, rocking his hips into her faster, with more force behind it, but not enough to hurt her.

His lips found her neck again and he sucked on the flesh, gasping into it every now and then as his hands tensed in the covers, abusing the fabric. She was almost afraid it would tear.

Her own hands, however, didn’t show his back any mercy. Nails sinking into his back, the female dragged them down, leaving marks all over his flesh as she did. Her lips parted in breathless moans, fingers clutching onto him as she arched her back off of the bedsheets.

Raven didn’t remember falling asleep. They had been talking and at some point, one of them must have dozed off, the other following suit. When Raven woke up, John was breathing into her neck, his arm wrapped around her waist. Raven had moved, attempting to pull herself out of his grasp but his hold tightened on her, immediately. Raven smiled, turning over in bed to face the man.

She allowed the pads of her fingers to run down the side of his face, trailing over the stubble along his jawline. Murphy scrunched up his nose at her actions.

“You are staring,” he whispered, groggy, his eyes remaining shut.

“I’m gazing,” Raven corrected, dropping her hand to rest on the bed.

She heard him laugh, “it’s creepy.”

He opened his eyes then, bringing his hand up from around her waist to rest on her cheek as he angled her face towards his, mouth meeting hers in a gentle kiss. Raven allowed him to kiss her, basking in the sweetness of his mouth. When he’d pulled away, she had leaned in, chasing his mouth for a second before giving up. His hand had dropped back to her waist and his fingers were now trailing over the small of her back, or more precisely, a specific spot on her small of her back.

She watched his expression shift the longer his fingers studied her scar, and she watched as his eyes lost their previous light, replacing it by the familiar shade of guilt. Raven sighed, inching closer to his body as her fingers rested under his chin, tilting his head up in a gentle motion. Leaning in, she pressed a kiss against his lips.

“War leaves scars on everyone…” she whispered, running her thumb over his chin in a soothing circle.

John tilted his head out of her grasp, gaze darting to the ceiling, “you were an innocent casualty.”

“You were trying to survive, John. You didn’t have a choice.”

“But I did,” he hissed, his eyes moving back to her, but he wasn’t really looking at her. “I could have surrendered.”

Raven shook her head, “and then you could have been dead… John, you are a survivor. You did what any survivor would do… it’s okay.”

For a moment, they lay in silence. She could see Murphy processing her words, maybe playing out scenarios in his head where that day had gone differently. Either way, he tilted his head towards hers again, planting a quick peck against her mouth before his lips trailed up the side of her face, finally halting at her temple. His arm snaked under her head, his bicep becoming her pillow, as he ran his fingers over the shoulder.

“I’m still not going out there,” he muttered, finally, and that caused a laugh to escape Raven’s lips as she simply got comfortable against him.

They didn’t have to. Not yet, anyway.


End file.
